Fearless, or so I thought,
I cast off the chains
in my fever, not like the daredevil
toddler shooing me away
to hang from the ropes unspotted.
Death rides at my right
the missing earlobe where cancer
once rooted, this blocked duct
my lopsided jaw brands of my father’s
the web inescapable so I make
my peace, shedding possessions
that come creeping back in gifts
my prescient gut declines.
At night my breath sobs toxins
draining through unsettled dreams.
What I miss most is joy entering
the forest calm, leaning against the greatest
bark, grateful for the grandmothers.
Now the shrinking spaces every mourning
the crowded-molecule places,
sing in this minor key the dread
overwhelm the fury race
my species rabid descant of greed
this is mine, I belong you
are we giving in tune
melodies haunting and pure
I search the notes with your eyes
our cacophony rising up
no ears to hear
what I miss most