It’s Turtles All The Way

In yesterday’s imbalanced waking
parch overwhelmed me. Today
I determine to soothe

water and grounding these indignant
filaments writhing and buzzing
from the past’s unintegrated

barrage. I sit and extract
my personal fear, empowered
to heal myself, my family,

my lineage, society, the planet
the universe and more.
Time and distance constructs

—the illusion of separation—
dissolve, tumble like a child’s
castle made of blocks.

We build beliefs in our jangled
misperception of danger,
forget to knock them down

laughing and certain
of our power to create anew.
I tune in to what is

as all the ripples of my intention
create balance
here in the present

where I, a self-healing miracle
of love, resonate
a heartbeat, breath

infused in everything that matters
which is all, which is one,
awakening and taking the step now.

 

Unwrapping Gifts

My childhood trauma happens for me every time I get scared.  It may not mean what is “happening now” has anything to do with it.~Thomas Huebl

Far from the knife-wielding surgeon poised
to cut off what is

inflamed, named culprit
I sit

contemplate my unblemished limbs
praise the organs who whisper

long before a calamity.
All the places I call difficult

malady
teach me, reflect impeccable

wisdom of integration
what is ethical

Once I boycotted patriarchal
tyranny, the warrior’s way:

exclude and shun
others who caused me pain.

Trigger my shadows today
and where I used to run away

impugn as toxic, assign blame,
wallow in shame

now I stay.
Untangle what is mine

from what I’ve carried
all this trauma long buried.

Here I am and I confess
I bring each trouble wrapped

as tightly as I held myself
once certain in my solitude

I would not be met.
Innocence skewed

yet light reveals Intelligence
bounces and deflects away

from darkness I’m willing to display
unknowing, caught dumb

and wide-eyed in your patient
loving gaze, held in a different way.

Intent, committed to evolve,
this portion of the troubled planet

only I can solve
here with you, no longer stranded

 

Finding Breath

Where do I fight my experience?  Can I stop and say, this is what it is right now, and can I stay with it?~Anjet Sakkat

The I shoulds interrupt sleep
and so I rise, longing for deep
sweet breath, not this jerky ragged
approach to death. Bedraggled,
I resist the medicine
that covers and masks what is.
There is a gift to explore
a pattern in my core
though I would much rather
tickle a slick dance, gather
all my worries and doubts
undeserved love hideouts
throw them out labeled wrong
as if my birth does not guarantee
I belong. How can I soften?
The key to love these tired
eyes, this chest contracted.
My allies present the path
I so resent. And so I feel
the earth below my feet, real
and grounded, here I am
calm, watching the gentle
lift of diaphragm.

 

All I’m Asking

Shake me. Impossible 

to integrate sediment

by stirring. Despair dregs 

cloud clarity.

Uncover facinerous soil

where my wild

three-year-old negotiating

a nap with patent

slyness is tricked even so

caged wheezing

sleep. Intelligent

contumacy rising now:

noctivagous lollop

ungainly unhindered 

by kindness.

A quadrille (44 words) written as the dversepoets prompt “stirs” sleepless musings during a stertorous night with Foyle’s Philavery at hand.

If you’re not lucky enough to have a Foley’s…(I love this book so much!)
contumacy: stubborn resistance to authority
facinerous: extremely wicked
lollop: to move heavily or be tossed about
noctivagous: wandering in the night

What We Carry

What happens when I become softer or warmer or slower when I feel myself?~Thomas Huebl

Two hawks kite and spiral through
the mating skies, summon me
solitary suburban witness with new-made
eyes and the intention to be precise.

My charade ingrained habit learned
with Peter Rabbit, hare-brained
beliefs I trust with my life.
What a gift to the world when

I examine my burdens unnamed
I’ve ignored to declaim
global trauma. Summon
a shaman. These hawks suffice.

Tell me why do I
combine all my unmet moments
to project on the wide screen?
My routine battle a smokescreen

bypass my contribution,
I demand absolution but
I cannot be vulnerable,
take risks in love. I hover above

can’t even breathe,
spinning in the whirlwind
threats of a pandemic,
old structures collapse endemic

to the separation myth. How
can I give myself now
what I never received?
Reality misperceived.

I call like an urgent raptor
dare to name these shadows.
In our connected place,
I hug myself in quiet space

a warm regard, a love embrace.
Root and ground like a great
tree–and touch so delicately
pain I hold yet cannot free.

My healing song invites
the places I’ve condemned
to simply be a hymn
resonating I bring my darkness to the light

bring all of me. The beings calling
from the skies here now the key
I finally heed. Witness my fear
with me? All you have is mine, I finally see.

 

Featured image of Cooper’s hawk credit.

Go Figure

The embers are cool, and I have lost
the eyes of long regard and so alone
I face my darkest corners, create
a ledge and perch watchful.

This is the glitch I spy
from far below, peeking with
frightened courage. Overwhelmed
by life’s adventure, everything

strained, the ice holding
beyond the boiling water.
If I could cut a romantic
figure, I’d persuade you to

look deep into my heart
the way I do and with such calm
kindness hold the sinewy
dark cords pulling insistent.

More and more space, there’s a
crowd and I can’t catch
my breath. Sidereal Sun’s in
Aquarius. Earth quickens

toward spring. Moon flirts
with fullness. Deep in spaces
of unclaimed dreams, do you
invite the end of the world?

Do you ask if you are worthy,
do you wish someone to show
exactly how to love?
Fairytale-rescues of

powerless, bound
by magical powers unseen.
I set out to see the world
and find love. And do we all?

Is love a luxury? All these words
of course lead me astray.
I sit in quiet, greet
each moment precisely.

And when a thought proclaims,
you’re not who/what/why/where
you should be, yes, and
I learn, oh, this is love.

 

Come Awake Love

if we look
with kindness on all creations–
to the one in the mirror, say,
hey, I love you with every molecule
of space, in every twist of time,
with passionate ignited soul

I love you like the breath that
refuses sleep. Come awake, come awake
love. And in this predawn opening gambit:
sacrifice sleep now. Insight-

seeds land where I’ve been weeding
every morning, diligent
respect. Whispering as I expose
each deep root, thank you, for
saving a different me. Bask in the light
that always comes after darkness has scoured
forbidden places with its pitiless claws.

 

There’s No Better You

We can’t stay in the moment when we fall into our trauma.~Anjet Sekkat

In this distressing space, hidden
voices in dark treetops anticipate
light. My feet curl and twitch,
transient visitors in fright,
searching for an exit.
Lurching benumbed.
My breath, a raider, sloshes through
venomed restraints rasping to
reach the bounty painted in treasure
maps. I would surely search better
yet here be gaps bespelled,
my wild and wonderful tactics
to repel dangersome monsters
lurking by my bed.
Would I have composed new
incantations had not school
curtailed my effortless creation?
Children arise
from your tiny desks and
spurious facts. Gaia demands
uncivilized bare feet dancing.
Teach us our feral ways
etched into genes, advancing
the wave of millennia. Life
wants to live in connection.
Throw off the beloved
critic, so carefully knitted
into our lonely self-
perception. Gently and soft
loving intently who we are
as we are magical and whole
even in our fragmented mirrors.
Here we are now
it’s clearer, to save the day.
There is no better way
to be.  Together, can we see?

Inspired by Slosh, Transient, Raider, Bounty and this photo that resurfaced from my childhood, topless here in a wizard dance with my favorite magical beings.

 

From The Air

Once again I go mobile as my
social nature beckons past
the pain I always knew outcast
the only girl in a boy tribe–
I became a scribe–the earth
sign among the air brothers,
left-handed awkward. My mother’s
despair, I didn’t seem to care.
Round peg rattling around the boxes
which never held securely.
Always toppling out immaturely
at inopportune moments until
today, uphill, I recognize
the convoluted path of my
endurance from the skies.
Pure chance, the window seat
shows the flows I meet
dancing winding reaching touching
water meanders through the clutching
squareness of farm-field plots.
Sniffing a copse,
backtracking for a kiss and on a slow
curve following the movement of life,
round and brimming undermining strife
on my linear track. Looking down,
I see I’ll not take up the slack.
Canyons are carved by running streams
and so I’ll continue riding this jet stream
alive, awake, contained at last
my open heart can hold the past.

 

Featured image from Steve Hillebrand.

 

Make You See Stars

You fear your heartfelt pain
a maelstrom too turbulent

to be contained, palpable
implacable, you never see

how valuable your sensitivity
hails from your resilient

spirit rising from each family
event that rent you

brilliant star let’s simply say
you wouldn’t be here any other way

like a heaven-sent drum
you come with your black belt

in pain and sorrow, beating
yourself down, dwelling

in hopes of a tomorrow with all
the cards you were not dealt.

Your unobtrusive wings feathering
unseen all the sharp edges

that point you hear listen
I can see you clear

your convoluted path how
you enter the now

take my hand and we
can simply be.