All Due Respect

“Sometimes I felt like a hueman kaleidoscope, a walking collection of shattered glass with bits of crazy color churning inside me.” ~Eleyne-Mari Sharp, Mad About Hue: A Memoir in Living Color

My stout heart seems friable in this mist
as morning spits then pauses. That’s thunder
or a heavy truck. The muted sounds hiss.
My skin accepts the kiss and I wonder

how this epic life unfolds. This moment
bliss as I let go of expectations
I’d been holding, creating such torment
heedless, blind, soothed by pithy placations

yet all is well from the initial sight
all the beliefs I’ve bundled to protect
needless, I’m untouchable now love’s light’s
illuminating shadows I project.

Inspired by: Initial, Stout, Epic and Frangible.

Featured image leaves from a great sugar maple, using the kaleidoscope effect.

Fierce Narrative Shift

The hidden costs now fully leaved
and we can choose to believe

hundreds of thousands of years
life brimming close and vital

feeding each other with love survival
plain, we’re here, what changed

is only story. The one is the glory
and praise, divine nature’s call

here in my instrument I set my intent
if there’s one thing sweeping the globe

it’s control by fear, and I won’t host it here.
Every traumatized fragment will arise

that happens when you’re hypnotized
awake I commit to my song, to speak

when I perceive the wrong, embrace
the hidden places clamoring to steer

upon the rocks of misguided fear.
one thing to praise and love

awakens my desire to be a force
the divine law the source

outside we stride into the light
know in our hearts what is right

I’m here for this. Essential me. Please
add your voice in this time to rejoice.

 

It’s Turtles All The Way

In yesterday’s imbalanced waking
parch overwhelmed me. Today
I determine to soothe

water and grounding these indignant
filaments writhing and buzzing
from the past’s unintegrated

barrage. I sit and extract
my personal fear, empowered
to heal myself, my family,

my lineage, society, the planet
the universe and more.
Time and distance constructs

—the illusion of separation—
dissolve, tumble like a child’s
castle made of blocks.

We build beliefs in our jangled
misperception of danger,
forget to knock them down

laughing and certain
of our power to create anew.
I tune in to what is

as all the ripples of my intention
create balance
here in the present

where I, a self-healing miracle
of love, resonate
a heartbeat, breath

infused in everything that matters
which is all, which is one,
awakening and taking the step now.

 

Embracing

the potpouri of dried beliefs
that scent my being

the unexamined tide that pulls me
I know nothing, sit in silence

ground my electric being
in the earth, over and over

again, as each new fragrance
generous and vivid triggers

another trauma welcomed
again and again. There is no

should be, only this embrace
of what is emerging

I recognize this
and let it go

now this
let it sizzle through my energy

field and held in your constant
kind regard as we breathe

in and out the simmering
stew of existence here now.

 

Love’s Warrior

I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be
Bring me a higher love~Steve Winwood

It plays out
a silly drama designed to trigger
that frightened child’s trauma.
When she arises
I look with friendly eyes.
Warm welcome! I hereby call
this difficulty blessing, fall
with humility and clearly state
my intention to dispense with hate,
manifest a higher love
as I connect to the divine
above like light streaming
no longer in the mainstream
dreaming how, for
in the simple truth of now
releasing fear, I bring myself
heartfelt, on fire, here I dwell.

 

Unwrapping Gifts

My childhood trauma happens for me every time I get scared.  It may not mean what is “happening now” has anything to do with it.~Thomas Huebl

Far from the knife-wielding surgeon poised
to cut off what is

inflamed, named culprit
I sit

contemplate my unblemished limbs
praise the organs who whisper

long before a calamity.
All the places I call difficult

malady
teach me, reflect impeccable

wisdom of integration
what is ethical

Once I boycotted patriarchal
tyranny, the warrior’s way:

exclude and shun
others who caused me pain.

Trigger my shadows today
and where I used to run away

impugn as toxic, assign blame,
wallow in shame

now I stay.
Untangle what is mine

from what I’ve carried
all this trauma long buried.

Here I am and I confess
I bring each trouble wrapped

as tightly as I held myself
once certain in my solitude

I would not be met.
Innocence skewed

yet light reveals Intelligence
bounces and deflects away

from darkness I’m willing to display
unknowing, caught dumb

and wide-eyed in your patient
loving gaze, held in a different way.

Intent, committed to evolve,
this portion of the troubled planet

only I can solve
here with you, no longer stranded

 

The Way Through

I wonder how I can guide my own child to embrace the night and understand that without darkness we are not just incomplete … we fail to dream.~Bear Guerra

We are here to integrate
the intractable voices poised
on the cliffs of their deluded
truths as if one unshifting
ground can be found
We sit
with open hearts for this.
Create a connected field
beyond the heady stuff
our clear intention to embody
and presence, yield attention
to the fragmented shrapnel
and shards. Summon the bards
and artists, terrified and grieving
each perceiving a unique way
give us all room to say we create
weaving the sounds perched here
on the groundswell of fear
composing in the deep
listening love brings to
the planet’s emerging sound
farewell to the death knell
here in the heartland
we are all well.

 

In the fragile moments…

…love needs to run the show.~Thomas Huebl

Each factoid conflates and the
twittering ensues: a chirp of doubt
a caw of derision cues uneasy
flutters of the flock, buffleheads
suddenly alert. A silent bald
eagle swoops spiraling
a kick of panic, they rise
called to scatter, frantic.
It seems that things are breaking
away. The landscape shifts
earth shaking, heart aching.
Eerie, empty and the lap
of water here where I anchor
settle my electric nerves
though I may wish to fly
I find I’m rooted in relation.
How may I serve you?
Reactions seek ground. Out of
the box confined, away from
the flickering nervous screen
I bow before this glorious
life delightful flow
through me in ways
I cannot say. Silent now
leave the fray. Together
we will find a path
that’s kind. We go within.
Embrace the fear awaiting
I’m with you. In connection
we will hold a space
for what is true
emerging in our humble grace.

 

Go Figure

The embers are cool, and I have lost
the eyes of long regard and so alone
I face my darkest corners, create
a ledge and perch watchful.

This is the glitch I spy
from far below, peeking with
frightened courage. Overwhelmed
by life’s adventure, everything

strained, the ice holding
beyond the boiling water.
If I could cut a romantic
figure, I’d persuade you to

look deep into my heart
the way I do and with such calm
kindness hold the sinewy
dark cords pulling insistent.

More and more space, there’s a
crowd and I can’t catch
my breath. Sidereal Sun’s in
Aquarius. Earth quickens

toward spring. Moon flirts
with fullness. Deep in spaces
of unclaimed dreams, do you
invite the end of the world?

Do you ask if you are worthy,
do you wish someone to show
exactly how to love?
Fairytale-rescues of

powerless, bound
by magical powers unseen.
I set out to see the world
and find love. And do we all?

Is love a luxury? All these words
of course lead me astray.
I sit in quiet, greet
each moment precisely.

And when a thought proclaims,
you’re not who/what/why/where
you should be, yes, and
I learn, oh, this is love.

 

Betwixt and Between

“The world cannot be translated; It can only be dreamed of and touched.”~Dejan Stojanović

In civilized company, I forget
the animal sounds I uttered in sweat
giving birth. That epiphany groaning
like a goddess instantly transformed
my self-perception informed that I am
woman, fierce and guttural, no longer
immersed in the deception of a pretty
thing. And no chagrin as I connected
to the earth, my purpose clear: to
mother this new life emerging in a
shocking strife. When life begins
and when it ends, we shatter.
The fragments of our created shell
no longer matter. Right now in this
dance betwixt and between, ears open
I am listening. A silent dog beside me,
both alert to early spring. Mating
red-tailed hawks chwirks and squirrels
kuk. Bluegrosbeak warbles a duet
with a Carolina chickadee’s fee-bee-baby.
How I wish that I could speak these
ancient ways, not cluck or twitter
cackle or jabber, a pure heart
sound offered and received. I am
a foreigner to myself and all my
cousins, listening in mystery
feet on the ground, as all
around me, beings praise and call.

Inspired by: Forget, Chagrin, Perception, Epiphany and the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt Animal Sounds. The rules of SOCS are stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write. And even though I write fast, Saturday writing is always a source of chagrin as I watch my wandering thoughts spin out of control. Fun times, though. Try it!