What We Carry

What happens when I become softer or warmer or slower when I feel myself?~Thomas Huebl

Two hawks kite and spiral through
the mating skies, summon me
solitary suburban witness with new-made
eyes and the intention to be precise.

My charade ingrained habit learned
with Peter Rabbit, hare-brained
beliefs I trust with my life.
What a gift to the world when

I examine my burdens unnamed
I’ve ignored to declaim
global trauma. Summon
a shaman. These hawks suffice.

Tell me why do I
combine all my unmet moments
to project on the wide screen?
My routine battle a smokescreen

bypass my contribution,
I demand absolution but
I cannot be vulnerable,
take risks in love. I hover above

can’t even breathe,
spinning in the whirlwind
threats of a pandemic,
old structures collapse endemic

to the separation myth. How
can I give myself now
what I never received?
Reality misperceived.

I call like an urgent raptor
dare to name these shadows.
In our connected place,
I hug myself in quiet space

a warm regard, a love embrace.
Root and ground like a great
tree–and touch so delicately
pain I hold yet cannot free.

My healing song invites
the places I’ve condemned
to simply be a hymn
resonating I bring my darkness to the light

bring all of me. The beings calling
from the skies here now the key
I finally heed. Witness my fear
with me? All you have is mine, I finally see.

Soundcloud recording here.

Inspired by Combine, Trust, Battle, Gift and yet another raucous pair of mating hawks demanding my attention.

Featured image of Cooper’s hawk credit.

Come Awake Love

Sadness In Our Bones: Few of us have registered the fact that we’re in the midst of the largest mass extinction of life on Earth since the demise of the dinosaurs.~Rob Brezsny

In the early-hour sheets chilled
and soaked, my breath barely elbows through
tight passages. Grief spiraling deep
impossible to fathom, for
clarity doesn’t belong, not in this
world ruled by anguish denied
composed under my distracted day-trance.

I’ve been watching the media spin
a woman out of sight–she’s dark
and speaks truth to power–a man
enclosed in a glass box, spied upon
and tortured. Everything is fine,
we’re told by old men seizing power
even as their brains dissolve

in the incarceration nation
endless war endless casualties.
As if when the narrative matrix flickers
green 1s and 0s across the screen,
we see it change. Look there, we cry
in unspeakable horror as machines
hear us, read us, correct us. Weirdness

cobbled science fiction lines
dancing before us and if we look
with kindness on all creations–
to the one in the mirror, say,
hey, I love you with every molecule
of space, in every twist of time,
with passionate ignited soul

I love you like the breath that
refuses sleep. Come awake, come awake
love. Allow the rise of utter despair.
In the pitch black I wonder why
some stay, as so many beings sweep away?
And in this predawn opening gambit:
sacrifice sleep now. Insight-

seeds land where I’ve been weeding
every morning, diligent
respect. Whispering as I expose
each deep root, thank you, for
saving a different me. Bask in the light
that always comes after darkness has scoured
forbidden places with its pitiless claws.

Soundcloud recording here.

Inspired by Gambit and Fathom.

Make You See Stars

You fear your heartfelt pain
a maelstrom too turbulent

to be contained, palpable
implacable, you never see

how valuable your sensitivity
hails from your resilient

spirit rising from each family
event that rent you

brilliant star let’s simply say
you wouldn’t be here any other way

like a heaven-sent drum
you come with your black belt

in pain and sorrow, beating
yourself down, dwelling

in hopes of a tomorrow with all
the cards you were not dealt.

Your unobtrusive wings feathering
unseen all the sharp edges

that point you hear listen
I can see you clear

your convoluted path how
you enter the now

take my hand and we
can simply be.

Inspired by: Palpable, Resilient, Heartfelt, Maelstrom and a friend in need with a reluctance to ask for help.

Soundcloud recording here.

My Capacity To Resonate

Something emerging through the listening.~Thomas Huebl

He said, step into the shoes
of the perceived other and

I miss baba ghanoush, especially
—my one-time specialty—

of all the nightshades banned.
Oh, I understand when inflammation

is the only game in town,
each culprit a revelation

as I regain ground lost
off balance. It’s not by chance

that I exchange dairy and gluten
for freerange bison, high-falutin’

local food only, who knew?
Tomatoes and peppers taboo.

How must they feel, excluded,
deemed dangerous and never included

in my menu? Ah, loves,
our separation’s only temporary.

I sit in silence, release the stress
I carry—mountains of collective trauma

sparking my tired body’s drama.
And now into stress’s shoes I climb

and see, it’s what’s too much
that lingers, never felt just

branded on the skin, a red
raised welt. So many frightened

parts of us are banned, moving
with great longing to land, yet

pushed away. I sit. And say,
what’s culturally approved

what society gives sanction to
suddenly opens, the floodgates bursting

wide, the ones we’ve damned
and pushed aside reclaimed

right now.
Inclusion is the tao.

Inspired by: Revelation, Exchange, Eggplant (and thus baba ghanoush), Approve and a recent talk about being present to Climate Change between William Ury and Thomas Huebl.  You can watch it here.  There is a powerful 14-minute meditation starting at 37:40.

Soundcloud recording here.

Upwelling Presence

Map me the way to the placid place
welling deep in my heart
where nourishment is tasteful
and sweet, everything digested from the start.

You see, I grew, a twisted tree
reaching ever for the light
my roots in mystery
the trauma history
my lineage looms, late afternoon
shadows casting lines of gloom
stretching out next to me
all the past that I just can’t see.

All the heavy burdens that I’ve lugged
into every connection, every kiss, every hug.
Contributing by absence to collective trauma
scoffing, never seeing how I add to the drama.

Every moment that I froze in time
another pebble in the ever growing pile.
Garbage in a stinking pit
the smell of shit we flushed away
constructed rhymes
far away from it.

We all turn, free throws
from behind our backs, never mind
who we hit, talking smack,
intent to escape somewhere in time.

Drawing down the future as now expands
the past lined up beside me
like a forest of hands
a rich support, as golden light
illuminates what I could never see:
possibilities. No place to run
no time to hide, just open to
the upwelling presence inside.

Inspired by: Placid, Map and Tasteful.

You can listen to it on soundcloud here.

I’m loving the new twist to my morning prompt response. Creativity rising!

Let in a little more light

There you are, walking in the shadows
every child you meet
lets in a little more light
a little more light.

Frozen and screaming with a prison guard
no wonder you’re so tired
keeping all of this alive
feeling numb inside
so very numb inside.

Look at you now, your heart is finally moving
you’re a little bit scared
the controls you dared
to cage up the bad feelings
all this energy releasing
lets in a little more light
a little more light.

And hey, look at all the inner work you’re doing
shifting in the fault lines
notice everybody breathing
in a little more light
easing all that wheezing in the night.

All that intelligence you tapped in to survive
Hard to convince to open up
finally be alive.

You go down in the darkness
with your heart’s intention
to collect all the pieces
you’ve been missing
just a little more light
a little more light.

Pretty soon you’re beaming
shining the way.
You hear all the things
you’ve never dared to say
spilling into the light
you are shining so bright.

Feeling met
in all those past upsets
Finally paying the childish debt
unfreezing all the energy
and healing me
with just a little more light
a little more light.

Inspired by Uplifting, and a search yesterday for songs to learn in that very vein.  And this song that came to me full-blown (there’s the soundcloud link.) at the break of day.  My creative juices really love this freestyle commitment (every day in December, a rap or a song!)

Beyond Knowing

I’m pulling out of a station
I used to label, smug and stuck.

An array of potions, amping up
liquids while my nose, red and

raw, seeps with deep healing.
Eyes on the great blue heron,

unseen for weeks. He’s poised
on my periphery, just on the edge

of sight, so I lean slowly.
Camouflaged at the threshold

of brown grasses, dirty white
riprap and trees still greening

the water. He creeps out of sight.
I must adjust my chair to

track, sneezing behind windows.
A spider in her web, waiting,

or a specter stumbling across
realities, a danger in every

sense. Morning sun kissing lake:
how green the blue. He turns

to step directly into his
shadow, the way of all healing,

graceful in his necessary poise.
I’m watching like these waters,

shimmering and simmering from
currents far below the still air.

Inspired by Stumble, Spider, Specter and How Green Is Blue.